Steady As She Goes Mr. Sulu

Aye, aye, captian Kirk.

Hmmm,

Sorry Jim, I have always wondered how can you steady a spacecraft when there are no external forces acting upon it? At sea, in a sailing ship, I can understand it but why space, when it is just a vacuum. In space no one can hear you scream and shooting at aliens will not result in a loud explosion. Blow up a planet and you will hear nothing except Obi-Wan doing the dry heaves in the seat next to you.

But life has external forces acting upon it. From incontinent poodles that imagine themselves to be rat poison gourmands to a dishwasher installers whose electircal work would be better suited to setting up the the July 1st firworks display, to a creep who masquerades as God's prophet, we have had our fair share. But it is mostly over now, we are fine.

The dog is peeing outside; the appliances all work properly; we can actually get our mail; the mice are dead and gone; last time I heard the creep was in jail, and I am happy.

I am not sure why I am happy, but this is a very strange feeling indeed. Ever since we moved here I have had this creeping feeling of contented excitement and muted giddiness. I like life and all that is going on around me. I love living in Mississauga and I catch myself laughing as I drive down the road.

Not that I don't miss living in Edmonton, but for some reason trying to imagine myself still living there makes me feel all itchy as if I had installed pink insulation wearing nothing but my underwear. Not sure why, though.

Come to think of it, I don't miss Edmonton at all*... especially the TLC. Which may have something to do with why I am so happy now, how does that Kelly Clarkson song go? Since you've been gone...?

WOW!



* disclaimer: rest assured that I do miss all of our many friends in Edmonton. It was just time to go...

I ♥ Ralphbucks

Although we now live in Ontario, we still received the coveted Alberta Prosperity Rebate or the Ralphbucks Check. That was $2000 for a family of 5 and it was a very welcome going-away gift from the province of Alberta. Thanks for 14 years!

Alas, it has mostly been spent, on a van and a stinky poodle's foray into private healthcare (BTW I wonder what they charged to treat the gerbil?)

On the plus side, we also brought with us a Conservative government to share with the rest of the country.

"Telethon Count" or "I Am So Glad This Is A Rental"

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently at 7 and counting....

1. Dryer venting clogged.
2. Mice-infested.
3. Low-flow toilets that clog easily (that explains the plumbers' helpers everywhere)
4. No keys for the mailbox - 3 weeks later.
5. Dishwasher mysteriously stops working.
6. Clothes covered in lint after washing.
7. Advertised "Partially Finished Basement" is actually unfinished with old carpet thrown on the floor.

Do we have another defect?